Studying to Be a Witness

For most of my christian life, I've been scared of evangelism. I pretty much abhor confrontation, and, let's be honest, much of the message of the cross is confrontational--dividing the bone and marrow even. But, recently, God has been helping me to see that my perspective needs adjusting. 

I am privileged to be good friends with missionaries in Nepal. I love hearing about their work reaching unreached people groups. Previous to their work there, however, they served in Bangladesh which is a predominantly Muslim country. My friend shared in our church about an experience sharing Christ with a Muslim man.  As he was sharing, the man got more and more angry. Finally, my friend kindly and calmly said, "I do not mean to anger you. I'm not trying to take anything away from you. I'm trying to give you something." This statement seemed to calm him down, but the conversation was soon over. Walking away feeling frustrated, my friend left only to notice he was being followed. He started to get scared because acts of violence against Christians were not uncommon. Suddenly a man grabbed him. The man then quickly said, " I'm not going to hurt you. I heard your conversation with that man and I want to hear more."  If I remember correctly, this man later became a believer. 

That story really hit me when he shared it--especially the line about not taking away but giving. It made me think about how I truly see the gospel. If I truly saw it as a gift, wouldn't I be more eager to share it?  And, truly, the gospel has been the best and most valuable gift I've ever received, and it's about time I acted like it. 

Many of us feel unprepared to share God's Truth with any degree of competence and we often quote this as a reason to not engage. But we have been told that we have a responsibility to be prepared.

"But sanctify The Lord God in your hearts, and always be ready to give a defense to everyone who asks you a reason for the hope that is in you, with meekness and fear." 1 Peter 3:15

The verse makes clear a few important points:

1) we are always to be ready 

2) we are to live our lives in such a way that our hope in God is evident (so much so that people ask us why we have hope)

3) we must do it in a meek and reverent manner (not being rude, angry, or impatient and truly valuing the person to whom we are talking and where they are in their journey in that moment)

Proverbs 15:28a says, "The heart of the righteous studies how to answer..."  In order to be effective witnesses, we need to be prepared to answer questions. Now I believe firmly that there are times when people ask questions not because they want to hear answers, but in order to ridicule and embarrass, and, in many of these cases, I believe it's better to not answer (Jesus did not always engage the mockery of others--sometimes His silence was answer enough). But many people ask valid questions that we must have an answer; we must think and think deeply. We must make the answers our answers and not merely parroting the deep thoughts of others. 

And, most importantly, we need to pray that God gives us the wisdom to understand what needs to be understood. Let's not use our fear to keep us from having meaningful conversations with the people God brings across our path. Study God's Word in depth, ask the hard questions and grapple with them before God, read the works of others who have thought deeply and think about their words (I've added a couple of my favorites in my Books I Love page).  We have a wonderful message of hope and meaning and purpose!  When you have made that message your own, you will be excited to share that with others!

While I'm Waiting

I remember several years ago watching the movie Fireproof.  I thought they did a decent job with the movie, but the part I loved the most was when they played the song "While I'm Waiting"(click here).  Even though it's been a while, that song is still one of my favorites because it hits on one of the biggest struggles we face as believers--waiting on God.  Why is this so hard?  It's hard because the lie that always threatens to overcome believers hovers right below the surface of situations that require waiting.  And, despite what unbelievers may think, the question is very rarely "Does God really exist?".  The question is so much more fundamental than that and directly connected to our hearts.  The question is "Does God really love me?"  You see in those moments when the way doesn't seem clear and there doesn't seem to be any hope or way to redeem the situation, that's when our biggest fear surfaces--the one that worries that we really are alone.  The one that whispers that God really doesn't have our best interests in mind.  The one that snidely comments that this was what  we've always thought deep down inside: God doesn't care.

I've come to believe that this is the truest test of our faith here and this is truly where we must take a stand.  We need to decide in our hearts whether or not to believe God.  To trust Him against all odds and especially when it seems impossible.  Because I believe in the end that the heart of judgment will be less about what we did and more about whom we trusted in.  And, of course, this all started in the garden.  When God placed Adam and Eve in a place of paradise, He gave them only one rule.  He even told them why they should follow it (because if you eat it, you will die die--according to the Hebrew).  For a while, things are going well, and they enjoyed a charmed life free from sickness and pain, and they enjoyed sweet fellowship with God.  
And then Satan comes on the scene.  In John Milton's epic Paradise Lost, we get an imagined behind the scenes look into Satan's scheming.  After the battle between Satan and his angels and God's angels, Satan and his minions are cast down.  When recovered, they begin to plan how to get revenge.  When it is suggested that they attack again, Beezlebub gave alternate counsel:
What if we find 
Some easier enterprize? There is a place 
(If ancient and prophetic fame in Heav'n 
Err not) another World, the happy seat 
Of som new Race call'd MAN, about this time 
To be created like to us, though less 
In power and excellence, but favour'd more 
Of him who rules above; so was his will 
Pronounc'd among the Gods, and by an Oath, 
That shook Heav'ns whol circumference, confirm'd. 
Thither let us bend all our thoughts, to learn 
What creatures there inhabit, of what mould, 
Or substance, how endu'd, and what thir Power, 
And where thir weakness, how attempted best, 
By force or suttlety: Though Heav'n be shut, 
And Heav'ns high Arbitrator sit secure 
In his own strength, this place may lye expos'd 
The utmost border of his Kingdom, left 
To their defense who hold it: here perhaps 
Som advantagious act may be achiev'd 
By sudden onset, either with Hell fire 
To waste his whole Creation, or possess 
All as our own, and drive as we were driven, 
The punie habitants, or if not drive, 
Seduce them to our Party, that their God 
May prove thir foe, and with repenting hand 
Abolish his own works. This would surpass 
Common revenge, and interrupt his joy 
In our Confusion, and our Joy upraise 
In his disturbance; when his darling Sons 
Hurl'd headlong to partake with us, shall curse 
Thir frail Originals, and faded bliss, Faded so soon. Advise if this be worth 
Attempting, or to sit in darkness here 
Hatching vain Empires. (Book 2)

Realizing the futility of trying open war against God, they revised their strategy to attack God where He is most vulnerable--us.  In Genesis 3, we see the real scene acted out.  Satan addresses Eve and begins by asking a simple question  (my paraphrase):  "Did God really say you should not eat from any tree in the garden?"  Eve responds to correct him by saying "Not at all!  We are allowed to eat from any tree, but we are forbidden to eat or touch this one or we will die."  She added a rule here that wasn't communicated earlier.  However, the focus is now on the forbidden.  Satan outright contradicts God next by saying "You will not die.  God doesn't want you to eat of this tree because He knows that if you do, you will be like Him." In other words, God doesn't truly want the best for you.  He's holding out on you.  His love is limited.  

And that poisonous arrow hit its mark and it wasn't much of a leap for Eve to go from this idea that God doesn't truly love her to disobedience that had consequences far beyond her reckoning.  You see the offer here was that she would have wisdom--the knowing of good and evil.  The clincher is that if she had resisted the temptation (and continued to resist it every day), she would have learned wisdom and the knowledge of good and evil not by giving in to evil, but by fighting it.  The wisdom was always within her reach, but instead of doing it God's way and waiting on His timing, she took the shortcut and ruined it all.  Fortunately, God excels in taking our failed attempts and redeeming them, so much so that Milton suggests that we gain more in Christ than we lost in the fall--felix culpa.

So what about us?  Right now we are all in the midst of the same temptation.  We are constantly in places where we need to wait for God to do His work or to reveal His work. Whether that is literally waiting on God to open doors, change hearts, or redeem difficult situations or whether it's the more abstract understanding of being faithful doing good even when it seems useless, we are all waiting.  Creation itself waits for its redemption and groans (Romans 10:18-25).  And like Eve, we have a choice. 

1. We can reject His plan and make our own way with its own consequences (Genesis 16) .
2. We can wait on God, but be worried and miserable the whole time.
3. We can wait on God with confidence and our hope will be our witness to the world (1 Peter 3:15).  

So, let's all resolve to make the right choice regardless of the situations we might be in.  Roll onto God all those things that are outside of our control.  Let's choose to trust Him and to wait for Him with joyful expectation.  And we can say, like John Waller,...
While I'm waiting I will serve You
While I'm waiting I will worship
While I'm waiting I will not faint
I'll be running the race even while I wait

The Awesomeness of Being a Woman (who happens to be a Wife and Mom)

Before I became a Christian, I considered myself a die hard feminist.  I would read books by Gloria Steinem and argue heatedly with males around me about our equality.  I believed I could and should do anything a man could do.  I often felt bitterness towards men and towards the inequalities I saw perpetuated in media and elsewhere.  When I became a Christian, I wasn't sure what to think anymore.  There were so many conflicting messages of what being a woman meant. Did being a Christian woman mean hiding in the background silently serving having no opinions or thoughts of my own?  I admit I felt stifled and confused.  Why would God create me with a brain and then tell me to shut up?  Why would he say you are all equal except not really?

I truly don't have the time or the wisdom to address the scope of the issues between men and women and our differing roles, but I will say that I have come to an understanding about God's perspective.  I now understand that God values us both equally and that we both reflect His own characteristics.  Yes, the men tend to reflect that stronger aspect of God--His authority, His intense jealous love, His single-minded attention to His goals.  But, we too, exhibit His important characteristics--His tender emotions, His love and need for relationship, His beauty.  Apart, male and females are only half the image--together we see the whole picture.

For you  see, my husband is the head of the home but me? I am the heart.

And that is such a huge responsibility that it humbles me daily.  The saying that goes "Nobody's happy if Mama's not happy" is no joke.  Our emotions set the tone for our home.  If we are happy and at peace, the home is happy and at peace.  When we are bitter, frustrated, and angry, well, you get it.  Nobody is happy then.  One time when I was in funk, I came across this extremely convicting verse. Proverbs 14:1 says, "The wise woman builds her house, but the foolish pulls it down with her own hands."  Wow.  I remember being completely taken aback.  I am responsible for the building up of my house.  

That means that what I do at home is important.  That also means the colossal lie that Satan has fed our culture that what women do in the home is not important or is demeaning is exactly that, a lie.  A lie that I will not listen to anymore.  When I read Proverbs 31, I don't see a weak, timid, wisp of a woman.  I see a woman who is smart, industrious, and independent.  But what's important to note is that she isn't building her own kingdom. She's building her home.  And the result?  "Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her."  But even more important than the accolades of her family is the recognition she gets from God.  "...a woman who fears the Lord , she shall be praised.  Give her the fruit of her hands, and let her own works praise her in the gates."  (Prov 31:28, 30b-31).  All of these acts (and they are impressive--read Proverbs 31:13-27) are motivated by her reverence for the Lord.  These acts are acts of worship.  

So on this Mother's Day, as you are honored by your families, remember that God also watches.  He watches His daughters with delight.  He calls them to acts of strength, self-sacrifice, and love.  He tells them to serve with diligence even when they are not being recognized.  He tells them to build their homes to look like His Home.

And, one day, when He calls us home, we will not feel like we are going to an altogether foreign place, but will recognize in His home those things that we have been building in our homes for many years.  And then we will finally, thank God, get to rest!

Trusting Man

Many of you, without even reading the stories, are familiar with Sherlock Holmes.  Some will know of him from the recent movies that have come out starring Robert Downey Jr, but many have at least heard of the brilliant, and unstable, investigative hero from the 1800's. Readers and viewers alike love that he always ends up two steps ahead of the villain even when it doesn't look like it.  In my Victorian literature class, I learned that Sherlock emerged as a new kind of hero of the time.  Unlike heroes of the past who sported amazing battle strength or endued with skills from above, he was a hero whose skill lay in intellect alone.  He portrays an almost deified skill of deduction and reasoning that is baffling and awe-inspiring.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, the creator of Sherlock, correctly read the feelings of the time to see that people were losing heart and faith.  Darwin's theory of evolution and the propagation of this theory, among other things, precipitated a time of doubt and insecurity in the minds of the British population.  For over a thousand years, there was no real doubt to the existence of God.  Now there was doubt, and the people were terrified.  If there is no God watching out for us, who will lead us?  Who will protect us?  And man's response when that which is worthy to be worshiped is removed, we will worship that which is not worthy. 

And, as usual, this isn't a new idea.  The turning of our hopes to man for help isn't something that developed in the last 100 years.  The Israelite people epitomize our very real tendency to turn to that which we can see with our eyes for help, even in spite of overwhelming evidence to the superior power available with God.  In many scenarios recorded in the Old Testament, the Israelites recognized their need for help--they just refused to bring their needs to God.  On this note, I will say that this blog is really a continuation of the same theme as the last blog, but with practical implications.  So now we know that we should not be ashamed or afraid of our weakness. This blog, hopefully, tells us what to do next.  

Psalm 37:5-6 says, "Commit your way to The Lord, trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass. He shall bring forth your righteousness as the light, and your justice as the noon day."

Our job in this aspect of our relationship is two-fold: we are to commit (meaning roll off onto God our ideas, troubles, burdens, decisions) and then we are to trust in Him and His ability to handle our difficulty (and many times this just means waiting until that perfect God moment).

God's job is simple--He does everything else. 

Our temptation is always to run to man or to man-made things to solve our problems and this is where we must evaluate ourselves.  When you have a problem, what do you do?  Turn to a friend maybe?

Or do you recognize immediately that this is an opportunity for God to work in your life--to utilize your admitted weakness in order to bring God glory?   The truth is unless you make an effort to bring your needs to God, unless you are inviting Him into your life in a real and tangible way--you are not really walking in relationship with God.  You are giving Him intellectual assent only.  

The Fear of Weakness

Lately my students have been preparing for a debate on hot topics from a biblical perspective.  Their topics range from is football beneficial for kids to should transgender individuals be allowed to participate in sports/military etc  with those of the "new" gender. The issues aren't always easy to understand, but I think it's essential that my believing students learn to grapple with the issues of the day and to strive to see it from God's perspective as much as possible.  As you can imagine, we've had a lot of discussion on the transgender topic and the concept of gender identity.  I challenged them to not allow culture to define what is male and female because my personal opinion is that culture is trying to remove the distinction.  We are told that women are as strong as men and that we can do everything they can do.  To some extent, I agree.  God created us equal; however, there is a subtle message underlying this and this message is that weakness and vulnerability are bad and undesirable.  I don't really intend to camp out on this concept except to highlight our absolute aversion to being considered weak--so much so that it saturates our media and probably drives us more than we realize.

I remember once reading an article for a Cultural Anthropology class where a tribal group of people stated how weird they thought it was that westerners try to hide their faults with makeup, surgery, and hair dye, etc.  The thought never occurred to them to try and hide faults and blemishes.  They just assumed that was part of being human.  I remember being completely floored by that idea.  It never occurred to me to NOT try to hide my weaknesses and faults.  I didn't really think there was another option.  It made me stop and ask myself what I was really trying to accomplish.  Is it really my goal to make people believe that I am perfect?  

As believers, we know with our mind that this idea is ridiculous, but, yet, we still subscribe to this ideology.  Don't we see this played out in our churches?  Don't we respect and admire those who look attractive?  Whose children are well behaved?  Who exhibit skills of leadership? 

And, of course, this isn't a new idea.  When Paul served the early churches (especially the Corinthian church) many did not find him "cool" enough.  Paul didn't look right; he didn't have the right presence; he didn't have the great references (for more info--read 1 and 2 Corinthians and read about his shaky relationship with them).  He even had something wrong with him; his thorn in the flesh he calls it. We don't know exactly what this thorn was (many speculate something to do with his eyes), yet we know he pleaded with God to remove it.  And God's answer was no.  God's reasoning was astounding.

"And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Talk about turning our ideas of strength and weakness on their head.  Weakness is not something to be afraid of or to even avoid.  It is when we are at our weakest (and we admit it) that we see the perfect strength of God.  When we are desperate, helpless, useless, grounded, fearful, and pitiful, God has the best opportunity to work.  When Paul realized this, he turned his whole message around.  Instead of begging God to remove his weakness, he decided to rejoice in it.  To boast in it even.  Why?  Because when God shows up and transforms us, then He gets the credit and not us.  

That's the true power of God on display there.  That's our witness to the world--not that we have it all together (we don't), not that we are so smart (we aren't), not that we are strong (no again), but our message is that HE is awesome and He can take whatever junk we bring to Him and do his amazing transforming work!  Hallelujah!

So, that brings us to the point.  What weakness are you desperately trying to hide?  What fear lurks in your mind that threatens to expose you?  What if....what if you stopped being afraid and instead saw every weakness as an opportunity for God to do miraculous, transforming work?  What if you rejoiced in it?  

And, one last big what if--what if you let others be weak and vulnerable?  What if you didn't judge them or wish they'd get their act together?  What if you believed God could do something amazing in the lives of those who make you nuts?  What if?

So I'm going to try this blog thing...

I started this blog a long time ago in order to post about books that I've read and to perhaps communicate with students.  Well, I posted exactly twice.  Lately, I've thought about posting again for a couple of reasons. One, I'd like a platform that is less invasive than Facebook.  Many times I hesitate to post what I'm really thinking because Facebook can encourage so much drama.   The greatness of a blog is that you only read this if you intentionally come to my page to read it.  Unlike Facebook where every post, comment, like, etc is posted in your friends' feed, you have to choose to come here.  The other reason is linked to the first.  I once read in one of Beth Moore's books that you know if you're a teacher if you feel compelled to tell everyone everything you are learning.  That totally fits me.  So this blog is going to be a place where I share what I'm learning from God, from books, and from life.  I am also adding a page of books that have either been impacting to me or just great reads for those who might be interested.  

So here we go....

Lately, I've been reading the biography of Amy Carmichael (one of my heroes) to Ethan for a school assignment.  I love reading this to him because it gives him godly heroes to imitate--those that counted the cost and saw how infinitely more satisfying a life lived in surrender to God is.  And Amy accomplished amazing and wonderful things such as building an orphanage in India rescuing hundreds of children from temple prostitution and death (see my other page for books about her).  But what struck me the most was how clearly she heard from God.  Several times I read that she would be in prayer and God would tell her something specific like go to this place, return home, build this, this many people will get saved, etc and it would happen exactly as He shared it to her.  My children and I talked about how amazing that was and how we wanted that same kind of relationship with God.  Because, the truth is, she had this kind of dialogue with God not because God loved Amy Carmichael more than anyone else in the world, it was because she believed He would speak to her and she waited with hopeful expectation for it.

I once heard this story about this minister who was about to get on a plane.  It turned out the plane was overbooked and the flight attendants kept offering incentives for people to opt out of the flight.  Several times he heard it and ignored it because he was anxious to go home and see his family even though he felt God was telling him to take the deal.  Finally, they offered one more time and he felt compelled to listen and he gave up his spot on the plane.  This plane then crashed and every person on the plane died.  The news reporters, knowing he was a minister, asked him why God told him to get off the plane and no one else.  Did God only love him because he was a minister?  His humble response was, "It wasn't that God didn't want anyone else's life to be spared.  It was because I was the only one listening."  Now this story could possibly be completely untrue (I didn't really verify it or anything), but the message is powerful and, I believe, true.  God is trying to communicate with each and every one of us every day--only a few of us are listening.

So how do we listen?  I believe it's a learned skill.  I believe it starts with a quiet heart, with a certainty that God is real and willing to communicate, and then it takes time.  God refuses to be molded into our ideas of how things should work.  Absolute humility is essential to learning how to tune in to the most complicated, beautiful, amazing, unfathomable person in the universe.  We must adapt to a new and powerful way of thinking that makes absolutely no sense to us most of the time.  But the rewards to being in tune with Him are measureless--peace, purpose, joy, and hope to name a few.  

Hebrews 11:6 says, "And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him."  I bolded the important concepts here.  You must really, honestly believe that God is real and able and willing to communicate with you.  It takes faith (which means you take an action on it and not necessarily that you feel it).  You also have to believe that your efforts to get to know Him are not meaningless or unnoticed.  God is delighted in your attempts to know Him.  Not sure about this, take a look at these Scriptures--Jeremiah 9:23-24 (my favorite), 2 Peter 3:18, 2 Corinthians 2:14, 2 Peter 1:3.  Knowledge of Him (intimate, communion-like knowledge) is something He gives to you.  In Jeremiah 9:24, it says He actually delights in you knowing Him.

So, if this is something you desire and He desires, what can possibly stop it??  I won't go in to the many meaningless things we allow to affect this, but instead I want us to focus on the fact that we don't need to feel like we are  forcing this.  We aren't asking for something impossible or unnatural.  If you have ever felt like there had to be something more to your relationship with God, then this is probably what was missing.  A real relationship with a living God.  And it's yours for the asking.