I must admit I feel a little weird writing this about this topic because of the delicate nature of the topic, but I've noticed the last few months that I've spoken about this topic several times with friends and even my students, and I wanted to go ahead and put my thoughts into writing. Now, before I begin, let me say very clearly that I totally do not judge women who choose to wear a bikini. It's definitely a gray area and not a hill I'd choose to die on, but there really are a few background issues that I do feel strongly about.
Throughout history, women have often been required to follow a forced modesty. The standards for modesty were extremely strict and any infractions were enforced severely. There was shame attached to the female body that never should have happened. However, in the last forty years or so, there has been a dramatic shift in society's standard. In reaction against the previously forced modesty, a new, unforeseen development has arisen. Forced sexuality.
What do I mean by this term? I mean that now many women equate beauty with sexuality. I mean that teens and pre-teens and, God help us, 7-9 year olds believe that the clothing that makes them attractive are short shorts, bikinis, and strapless dresses.
In short, where women were judged harshly for showing too much (or any) skin in the past, now a woman may feel less than when she doesn't show skin. And I think this idea (though definitely not encompassing all women) is affecting women and little girls. It's the age old idea that the best thing we have to offer is our bodies, instead of our minds, our hearts, our spirits. And that makes me mad. Because that is still bondage. Bondage with more choices than before, but bondage nevertheless.
I must admit that I never really thought so deeply about this until I had daughters--two wonderful, beautiful daughters who, like most females, care about how they look and how they are perceived (even at four and eight!). And when I look at the clothes being sold for them and the clothes being worn by girls on TV, I get nervous. What if they believe that's all there is to being a woman? What if they become insecure like me?
I spent all of my teen years obsessing with my appearance. When I became a Christian, I felt instantly free from that pressure. I threw out all of my makeup and just wore baggy t-shirts and jeans. Over time, I realized that beauty isn't something wrong. God created it! I realized that I was allowed to want to be attractive. However, when I started thinking that way it brought up a huge amount of drama that I wasn't expecting. And why the drama? Because it was so hard to believe that I could be beautiful without exuding sexuality.
So what does this all have to do with bikinis? I don't wear bikinis for the same reasons I don't wear many other types of clothes. One, I'm way too conscious of my body in a bikini. Yes, I'm skinny, but I'm not perfect. Every time I bend over, I'm thinking of how my belly looks when the muscles collapse (hey--I've had three kids). I'm. Not. Comfortable.
Two, I want my daughters to see that their mother thinks it's wise to cover her body. When my daughters are teenagers, I don't want them to say "Well, you wear one!" when I say that the Brazilian-cut string bikini is not a good idea. I'm pretty proud of myself for thinking ahead on this one.
Three, I desperately want to learn that as I grow older and my muscles get flabbier and my skin gets wrinklier that I still have something valuable to offer the world. That I can still look beautiful (because let's be honest ladies, being beautiful is still important) without looking like I'm twenty.
So this brings me to my last point. We have a choice. If a woman wants to wear a bikini, that's totally fine with me. But, at least for one moment, I hope we will stop and ask ourselves, "Why do I really want to wear this?"
FYI: Jessica Rey's "The Evolution of the Swim Suit" is one of my favorites for an interesting perspective on bathing suits! Check it out!
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